Divorce is a social psychological problem .. A general phenomenon in all societies and appears to be increasingly prevalent in our societies in modern times, divorce is the "most hated of permissible" because the consequent negative effects on the disintegration of the family and the increasing hostility and hatred and negative effects on children and then the social and psychological numerous ranging from mental disorders to deviant behavior and crime and so on.
There is no doubt that regulate the relationship between men and women and family formation has attracted the attention of thinkers since time immemorial. We find in all religions, laws and ethics classes and wide to organize this relationship and ensure the existence and continuity. And interested in religion and intellectuals, sociologists and psychologists in this relationship, each trying to present his side of what serves the success of this relationship because this is the continuation of life itself, happiness and development.
There are various reasons for divorce, including marital boredom and ease of change and find alternative and the tyranny of material life and the search for pleasures and the spread of selfishness and weakness of character, all that needs to be reformed and the need to uphold the values and virtues and showing a lead themselves.
Other causes of "infidelity" and agree a lot of views on the impossibility of continuing the relationship after the occurrence of marital infidelity, especially in the case of treacherous women. In case of betrayal of the man are different opinions and justifications abound that attempt to support the continuation of the relationship.
In our country it seems that this phenomenon is rare compared with other communities, can doubt and jealousy of disease and charge a couple other without convincing evidence of infidelity is the cause of corruption of the marital relationship and tense and discomfiture, which requires treatment for one or both spouses, so that the uncertainty associated with signs and outgoing signals of the receiving by the couple together, and happen to think that when one deviates because of the ambiguity of verbal and behavioral signals that do. As if speaking or smiling a little in appropriate or inappropriate that conceals events or other things and so inadvertently or deliberately clear, raising suspicion and doubt and suspicion on the other side of doubt and leads boiled patients. Here, training is conducted on the language of understanding, dialogue and the right signals sound and other methods that increase the confidence and trust between the couple and the ease of ignition of jealousy and suspicion, such as joint activities and meetings recreational and dialogues explicit addition to the move away from the citizen suspicions in word and deed.
And here we come to an important cause of the causes of divorce, a "mismatch between the spouses" includes compatibility and intellectual compatibility and personal foul and the harmony of spiritual and emotional. Of course, these generalities difficult to identify, and difficult to find a man and a woman getting closer in some of these things, and here are different standards with mean words "consensus" and to what extent this should be done, but we must modify our ideas and expectations on the subject of consensus because it benefits greatly accept couples to their wives and vice versa.
And ideals lead to dissatisfaction and relationship to disease and degradation. In practice, we find that it must be a minimum of similarity in the case of the continuation of the marital relationship success. Alike in generating convergence and cooperation, and the difference generates revulsion and hatred and negative feelings. This does not mean that the similarity of the two parties have a replica on the other. Can the differences between the couple be useful if they are in the framework of integration and difference construction which gives the relationship varied and exciting and vital.
If the difference is large or aggressive competitive, it was the couple away from each other and feeds the hatred and revulsion and intolerance which leads to divorce.
We find that the number of people lacking "sensitivity to the wishes and feelings or the other lacks experience in dealing with others" because of the character and composition of inertia or for reasons of educational and harsh conditions and a variety of Ahramanat or for reasons of ignorance and inexperience.
These people are difficult to live with them and their participation in married life, leaving them exposed to divorce, and here it must be stressed that the human is changing and that the features of his personality and some of the attributes can be altered if you find the right conditions and if given the necessary time and guidance useful, and can be for a person to learn how to listen to the other party and to interact with and respond in a positive and comfortable.
Thus it can before thinking of divorce and separation to try each of the spouses to understand the other party and its needs, methods and seek to help him change, and many couples grow up together, and we can not expect to find a human "Knight of his dreams" easily and without effort and diligence, and perhaps "from the hit fiction "or" impossible dream "or" beautiful myth "that still caressed our minds and our hopes when we deal with the truth and reality with regard to husbands and wives. We can not of course to spend on dreams, but realism requires maturity, patience, and taking and giving and pain and hope.
Shows the daily life it has to be differences and problems in the marital relationship. Perhaps this is the nature of life and the important thing is to contain the problems and not allow it to swell and grow and this of course requires experience and knowledge lacking in many, perhaps early marriage, a negative factor because of lack of experience, flexibility and increase thinking fantasy and immaturity with respect to the other party and in life itself.
We find in practice that "difficult problems of understanding," is one of the leading causes of divorce. And feeds the difficulties of understanding some of the trends in the personal, such as stubbornness and insistence on the trend of opinion and also highly competitive and love of control and also Alandfaih and haste in making and nervous reactions. Where rights and angry disturbed his temper quickly, which generates large shipments of hatred that is expressed directly through the shouting and swearing and violence, or indirectly through negative "and grins," and the silence and lack of participation and so on. All of this contributes to the difficulty of understanding and solving problems, making normal daily both parties away from each other in behavior and emotions and ideas.
In these cases the good word can be an effective medication review rights of which himself and reconsider his ways. Can also learn successful methods of dialogue and self-control techniques that modify the recurrence of problems and help to resolve "peacefully" away from the divorce.
And can be "for the intervention of others," and the people of the husband or wife's family and his mother and her mother to play a role in the divorce, and this is what must be alert to it and determine the intervals and the border between the relationship of marriage and family extensions. And to emphasize the role that parents play care, support and encouragement to their children and spouses of their daughters by providing aid and assistance "and say something good or shut up" if they want to really good.
In modern families, which employs the two parties, we find that the "confusion of roles and responsibilities" plays a role in the divorce, which requires ongoing dialogue and to identify roles and responsibilities in a realistic and flexible. Where we find one of the two parties accusing the other of negligence and expressed dissatisfaction with the standards, but it uses an old memory from our fathers and mothers without pay attention to the different circumstances and events. And should these standards be altered to suit the new circumstances which places additional burdens on the parties because of the newness and lack of standards used and the lack of clarity.
It is grounds for divorce other "combination of the special relationship pair specific" if the husband the sons of another wife or the wife divorced previously and so on, these specifications make marriage more difficult because of the additional tasks and sensitivities associated with it, and treatment requires understanding more and patience and strength to continue in the marriage and the amendment problems and solve them.
It also causes "duplicate divorce" in the family of the husband or wife. Repeats, where sons and daughters what happened to their parents .. Divorce, of course not a hereditary disease, but the wounds and suffering resulting from the divorce of the parents in addition to some acquired characteristics and trends of various personal reasons .. All of this plays a role in the recurrence of the tragedy again and again, and must be on the lookout for this iterative process and understanding of treatment and try and modify behavior.
One reason for divorce is also the proliferation of "habits of word of divorce and to facilitate the fatwas" that divorce has occurred in some cases, linked to a set of social customs, which require an understanding and an amendment and restraint so as not to victimize a number of marital relations and that it can continue and flourish. And divorce here is not intended as if an error occurred ...
Thus we find that the reasons for divorce and multiple selfish and escape from responsibility and poor ability to deal with real life and with the opposite sex, they are general factors contribute to the occurrence of divorce. We can not expect that divorce is the need to end up with many reasons in many cases can not be all marital relations to continue if there are important reasons can not be changed.
In the end, it must be pointed to the role of the eye, witchcraft and demons, and other unseen in the incidence of divorce, while in practice we find that there is excessive in the application of these concepts without wisdom or lingered by many people.
It is the first to examine the grounds of realism and attempt to modify the concrete and to treat the problem of divorce, its causes and reduction. And also self-reflection and patience, flexibility and patience to accept the other party and to correct what can be corrected in the marital relationship which is a realistic solution and prevention of family and social disintegration.
(From the book of life of Psychiatry and the second part of the author 1997)
There is no doubt that regulate the relationship between men and women and family formation has attracted the attention of thinkers since time immemorial. We find in all religions, laws and ethics classes and wide to organize this relationship and ensure the existence and continuity. And interested in religion and intellectuals, sociologists and psychologists in this relationship, each trying to present his side of what serves the success of this relationship because this is the continuation of life itself, happiness and development.
There are various reasons for divorce, including marital boredom and ease of change and find alternative and the tyranny of material life and the search for pleasures and the spread of selfishness and weakness of character, all that needs to be reformed and the need to uphold the values and virtues and showing a lead themselves.
Other causes of "infidelity" and agree a lot of views on the impossibility of continuing the relationship after the occurrence of marital infidelity, especially in the case of treacherous women. In case of betrayal of the man are different opinions and justifications abound that attempt to support the continuation of the relationship.
In our country it seems that this phenomenon is rare compared with other communities, can doubt and jealousy of disease and charge a couple other without convincing evidence of infidelity is the cause of corruption of the marital relationship and tense and discomfiture, which requires treatment for one or both spouses, so that the uncertainty associated with signs and outgoing signals of the receiving by the couple together, and happen to think that when one deviates because of the ambiguity of verbal and behavioral signals that do. As if speaking or smiling a little in appropriate or inappropriate that conceals events or other things and so inadvertently or deliberately clear, raising suspicion and doubt and suspicion on the other side of doubt and leads boiled patients. Here, training is conducted on the language of understanding, dialogue and the right signals sound and other methods that increase the confidence and trust between the couple and the ease of ignition of jealousy and suspicion, such as joint activities and meetings recreational and dialogues explicit addition to the move away from the citizen suspicions in word and deed.
And here we come to an important cause of the causes of divorce, a "mismatch between the spouses" includes compatibility and intellectual compatibility and personal foul and the harmony of spiritual and emotional. Of course, these generalities difficult to identify, and difficult to find a man and a woman getting closer in some of these things, and here are different standards with mean words "consensus" and to what extent this should be done, but we must modify our ideas and expectations on the subject of consensus because it benefits greatly accept couples to their wives and vice versa.
And ideals lead to dissatisfaction and relationship to disease and degradation. In practice, we find that it must be a minimum of similarity in the case of the continuation of the marital relationship success. Alike in generating convergence and cooperation, and the difference generates revulsion and hatred and negative feelings. This does not mean that the similarity of the two parties have a replica on the other. Can the differences between the couple be useful if they are in the framework of integration and difference construction which gives the relationship varied and exciting and vital.
If the difference is large or aggressive competitive, it was the couple away from each other and feeds the hatred and revulsion and intolerance which leads to divorce.
We find that the number of people lacking "sensitivity to the wishes and feelings or the other lacks experience in dealing with others" because of the character and composition of inertia or for reasons of educational and harsh conditions and a variety of Ahramanat or for reasons of ignorance and inexperience.
These people are difficult to live with them and their participation in married life, leaving them exposed to divorce, and here it must be stressed that the human is changing and that the features of his personality and some of the attributes can be altered if you find the right conditions and if given the necessary time and guidance useful, and can be for a person to learn how to listen to the other party and to interact with and respond in a positive and comfortable.
Thus it can before thinking of divorce and separation to try each of the spouses to understand the other party and its needs, methods and seek to help him change, and many couples grow up together, and we can not expect to find a human "Knight of his dreams" easily and without effort and diligence, and perhaps "from the hit fiction "or" impossible dream "or" beautiful myth "that still caressed our minds and our hopes when we deal with the truth and reality with regard to husbands and wives. We can not of course to spend on dreams, but realism requires maturity, patience, and taking and giving and pain and hope.
Shows the daily life it has to be differences and problems in the marital relationship. Perhaps this is the nature of life and the important thing is to contain the problems and not allow it to swell and grow and this of course requires experience and knowledge lacking in many, perhaps early marriage, a negative factor because of lack of experience, flexibility and increase thinking fantasy and immaturity with respect to the other party and in life itself.
We find in practice that "difficult problems of understanding," is one of the leading causes of divorce. And feeds the difficulties of understanding some of the trends in the personal, such as stubbornness and insistence on the trend of opinion and also highly competitive and love of control and also Alandfaih and haste in making and nervous reactions. Where rights and angry disturbed his temper quickly, which generates large shipments of hatred that is expressed directly through the shouting and swearing and violence, or indirectly through negative "and grins," and the silence and lack of participation and so on. All of this contributes to the difficulty of understanding and solving problems, making normal daily both parties away from each other in behavior and emotions and ideas.
In these cases the good word can be an effective medication review rights of which himself and reconsider his ways. Can also learn successful methods of dialogue and self-control techniques that modify the recurrence of problems and help to resolve "peacefully" away from the divorce.
And can be "for the intervention of others," and the people of the husband or wife's family and his mother and her mother to play a role in the divorce, and this is what must be alert to it and determine the intervals and the border between the relationship of marriage and family extensions. And to emphasize the role that parents play care, support and encouragement to their children and spouses of their daughters by providing aid and assistance "and say something good or shut up" if they want to really good.
In modern families, which employs the two parties, we find that the "confusion of roles and responsibilities" plays a role in the divorce, which requires ongoing dialogue and to identify roles and responsibilities in a realistic and flexible. Where we find one of the two parties accusing the other of negligence and expressed dissatisfaction with the standards, but it uses an old memory from our fathers and mothers without pay attention to the different circumstances and events. And should these standards be altered to suit the new circumstances which places additional burdens on the parties because of the newness and lack of standards used and the lack of clarity.
It is grounds for divorce other "combination of the special relationship pair specific" if the husband the sons of another wife or the wife divorced previously and so on, these specifications make marriage more difficult because of the additional tasks and sensitivities associated with it, and treatment requires understanding more and patience and strength to continue in the marriage and the amendment problems and solve them.
It also causes "duplicate divorce" in the family of the husband or wife. Repeats, where sons and daughters what happened to their parents .. Divorce, of course not a hereditary disease, but the wounds and suffering resulting from the divorce of the parents in addition to some acquired characteristics and trends of various personal reasons .. All of this plays a role in the recurrence of the tragedy again and again, and must be on the lookout for this iterative process and understanding of treatment and try and modify behavior.
One reason for divorce is also the proliferation of "habits of word of divorce and to facilitate the fatwas" that divorce has occurred in some cases, linked to a set of social customs, which require an understanding and an amendment and restraint so as not to victimize a number of marital relations and that it can continue and flourish. And divorce here is not intended as if an error occurred ...
Thus we find that the reasons for divorce and multiple selfish and escape from responsibility and poor ability to deal with real life and with the opposite sex, they are general factors contribute to the occurrence of divorce. We can not expect that divorce is the need to end up with many reasons in many cases can not be all marital relations to continue if there are important reasons can not be changed.
In the end, it must be pointed to the role of the eye, witchcraft and demons, and other unseen in the incidence of divorce, while in practice we find that there is excessive in the application of these concepts without wisdom or lingered by many people.
It is the first to examine the grounds of realism and attempt to modify the concrete and to treat the problem of divorce, its causes and reduction. And also self-reflection and patience, flexibility and patience to accept the other party and to correct what can be corrected in the marital relationship which is a realistic solution and prevention of family and social disintegration.
(From the book of life of Psychiatry and the second part of the author 1997)
